Please take the time to listen.
It's amazing.........really
http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/the-radical-experiment-2010/
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
disappointment
I really believe that one of the worst Lessons of Life is disappointment. I thought being disappointed myself was tough, but having your child disappointed is almost more than I can bear.
Zion has the gene from both Mike and I to be competitive. Sadly, Zion also shares our other genes - which makes him small for his age. I am 5'3 and Mike is 5'10 (with shoes) and Zion is just not going to be a giant. To add insult to injury - he has two adopted brothers that are, indeed, going to be huge. (Michael, at age 12, wears 11 1/2 size shoes, yes, men's shoes)
Zion in February competed in the county wide AWANA games, in which his team came in last. He was not sad, he was TICKED!
Zion has the gene from both Mike and I to be competitive. Sadly, Zion also shares our other genes - which makes him small for his age. I am 5'3 and Mike is 5'10 (with shoes) and Zion is just not going to be a giant. To add insult to injury - he has two adopted brothers that are, indeed, going to be huge. (Michael, at age 12, wears 11 1/2 size shoes, yes, men's shoes)
Zion in February competed in the county wide AWANA games, in which his team came in last. He was not sad, he was TICKED!
When I gave him the, "you did your best!" speech -
he replied to me, "THAT'S STUPID!!!"
I couldn't say much after that. I honestly hate to lose, and it doesn't make me feel better to think that I did my best and my best was inferior to the competition. I might actually feel better if someone said, "you were having a bad day. Any other day, you would have taken them OUT!"
So - March rolls around and auditons for the church musical/play are here. Zion was so excited to be in the play, and he practiced the script for a week before his audition. We talked about how you would act if the line was sad. We talked about body language and we talked about a big strong voice. He had to sing, "Here I Am To Worship" which we also practiced to and from school in the van.
So - March rolls around and auditons for the church musical/play are here. Zion was so excited to be in the play, and he practiced the script for a week before his audition. We talked about how you would act if the line was sad. We talked about body language and we talked about a big strong voice. He had to sing, "Here I Am To Worship" which we also practiced to and from school in the van.
He was ready, and I just knew he would get a part.
In addition to his hard work, he is adorable, (right?)
Auditions were Saturday and the email came out on Sunday with the "Call Back" list.
Auditions were Saturday and the email came out on Sunday with the "Call Back" list.
Isaac was on it, but not Zion.
I scanned the list again, and again......and, okay, one more time. No Zion Thornton. It must be a mistake. Maybe they got Isaac and Zion mixed up.
Zion worked so hard - and Isaac only read through the script once.
I emailed the director - "not to question you, but I just wanted to make sure you wanted Isaac for CALL BACKS and not Zion. Isaac wasn't even sure he wanted a speaking part, and Zion practiced all week."
Return email; "Yes, Isaac read for a part and was really confident. Zion seemed shy and quiet"
BUMMER.......while I was happy for Isaac - I know that, in the big picture, Isaac wouldn't really care. He is a "go with the flow" kinda kid.
Now what?
How do I tell Zion?
How do you prepare your child for all the disappointments of life?
I emailed the director - "not to question you, but I just wanted to make sure you wanted Isaac for CALL BACKS and not Zion. Isaac wasn't even sure he wanted a speaking part, and Zion practiced all week."
Return email; "Yes, Isaac read for a part and was really confident. Zion seemed shy and quiet"
BUMMER.......while I was happy for Isaac - I know that, in the big picture, Isaac wouldn't really care. He is a "go with the flow" kinda kid.
Now what?
How do I tell Zion?
How do you prepare your child for all the disappointments of life?
I waited until Monday night, after dinner, when I needed to get Isaac started on practice for Call Backs. I could delay no longer.
I called Zion into my room. I picked him up so I could look in his eye. I told him in the most gentle way that I could, "I got an email about the play. You didn't get a speaking part this time."
He glares at me for a second, and the lip starts to quiver, then the sobs begin. I hold him tight and bite my lip to fight back my own tears. I sit down on my bed with him and just hold him. I didn't dare try for the "you did your best" bit.
I told him about how the Bible says that every part is important. Like your body parts. Even though your little toe is tiny - it still helps you balance and walk straight. And everyone in the play can share God's love with all the people watching the play.
It took him a while to come around.
First he wanted to quit the play.
I told him that wasn't an option.
Later in the evening he quietly says, "Mommy, can I sleep with you?"
We snuggled up together and read a chapter of "Hank Zipzer" in my bed.
Isaac comes down and has the play script in his hand.
Zion doesn't say anything, but after a little while - he begins to look at the script again and help read lines as Isaac practices.
I decide that he is going to be okay.
maybe sometimes just being there, without having the right words to say.......
will be enough.
(*play photo from last year: An Unlikely Hero")
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Captivating.........Chapter one
Captivating is a book for women. The goal of the book is to unveil the mystery of a Woman's Soul. And I learned more about mine than I was ready for.
What does it mean to be a woman?
The Bible says in Genesis that God created us in his image:
but what does that mean?
What does it look like?
Is a true woman like Cinderella or Joan of Arc?
How can I become a strong woman without becoming harsh?
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
My heart, as a woman, is the most important thing about me.
What are the true desires of a woman's heart?
#1) A woman wants to be romanced.
We want to be in a story of life where the hero comes to look for us - to find us and rescue us.
We want to feel like we are worth fighting for.
We want to be seen, noticed, wanted and pursued.
Our actions cry out, "do you think I am lovely?"
We want to be precious to someone, and it starts with our earthly father.
#2) A woman wants to be part of something big.
Something that requires all of me.
Something dangerous.
Something worth dying for.
The heart of a woman is fierce! But we don't want to do it alone.
We want to be in this adventure with others.
Our lives were meant to be lived with others.
#3) A woman has a beauty to unveil
Psalm 45:11 The King is enthralled by your beauty.
Our modern culture has turned the idea of beauty into something that is not Godly. Because of this worldly view that most of us carry with us, we have hardened our hearts to the desire to be beautiful. We need to accept who we are in Christ and walk in that beauty. Very few women that I know are comfortable in their own skin.
I grew up as a tomboy on a farm - and I struggled with this portion of the Bible Study.
The tomboy can't be the princess....it just doesn't work. But deep inside my heart, the desire to be beautiful was still there.
We want to have a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want a beauty that is not only seen, but felt.
A beauty that affects others. With this kind of beauty, we inspire the men in our lives to be the hero that God has placed in his heart to be.
Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
John and Stasi Eldredge
Thomas Nelson Publishing 2005
What does it mean to be a woman?
The Bible says in Genesis that God created us in his image:
but what does that mean?
What does it look like?
Is a true woman like Cinderella or Joan of Arc?
How can I become a strong woman without becoming harsh?
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
My heart, as a woman, is the most important thing about me.
What are the true desires of a woman's heart?
#1) A woman wants to be romanced.
We want to be in a story of life where the hero comes to look for us - to find us and rescue us.
We want to feel like we are worth fighting for.
We want to be seen, noticed, wanted and pursued.
Our actions cry out, "do you think I am lovely?"
We want to be precious to someone, and it starts with our earthly father.
#2) A woman wants to be part of something big.
Something that requires all of me.
Something dangerous.
Something worth dying for.
The heart of a woman is fierce! But we don't want to do it alone.
We want to be in this adventure with others.
Our lives were meant to be lived with others.
#3) A woman has a beauty to unveil
Psalm 45:11 The King is enthralled by your beauty.
Our modern culture has turned the idea of beauty into something that is not Godly. Because of this worldly view that most of us carry with us, we have hardened our hearts to the desire to be beautiful. We need to accept who we are in Christ and walk in that beauty. Very few women that I know are comfortable in their own skin.
I grew up as a tomboy on a farm - and I struggled with this portion of the Bible Study.
The tomboy can't be the princess....it just doesn't work. But deep inside my heart, the desire to be beautiful was still there.
We want to have a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want a beauty that is not only seen, but felt.
A beauty that affects others. With this kind of beauty, we inspire the men in our lives to be the hero that God has placed in his heart to be.
Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
John and Stasi Eldredge
Thomas Nelson Publishing 2005
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Captivating.......or not yet.
Well, it's been about 3 weeks since I said I was going to blog on my latest Bible Study - Captivating. In the meantime, my friend Heather challenged those reading her blog to listen to a sermon series by David Platt, a pastor at Brooks Hills Church in Birmingham Alabama. I started it a few times, clicked it off because it was almost an hour and didn't ever make the time to listen.
Last Friday, I had a long road trip, so I decided to put the sermons on my iPod and listen to them while I drove. The boys were all in school - so I had time to "REALLY" listen, not just hear it, you know?
So, it is something. I mean, in a way that makes you think and feel motivated but yet really, really convicted all at the same time. I think it's really cool how the Holy Spirit can do that. There is a difference between guilt and conviction by the way. Only one is from God.
http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/the-radical-experiment-2010/
If you can find the sermon series, I also encourage you to listen to it.
If you have iTunes - you can go to the Podcast section of the iTunes Store and download the sermons for free - it's called the RADICAL EXPERIMENT.
In the meantime, while all the RADICAL stuff is spinning in my head - I still want to wrap up my thoughts on Captivating. My friend Heather is GREAT at blogging her thoughts, even when she is still spinning things around in her head. For me, not so much.....I feel like I have to wrap my brain around it first.
My thoughts are so random anyway......if I just typed it all out as it spins around in my head, no one would be able to follow it.
Of course, I say that as I have NO followers on my blog! :P But I'm not writing it for anyone else. It's an online journal of my journey - through the ups and downs and lessons I am learning. So.......maybe it doesn't matter if I have it all figured out in my head.
Regardless - listen to the RADICAL EXPERIMENT. It could change your life.
PS....I really wish I knew how to post a link on this crazy thing......I tried 5 times, and it's still not here.
Last Friday, I had a long road trip, so I decided to put the sermons on my iPod and listen to them while I drove. The boys were all in school - so I had time to "REALLY" listen, not just hear it, you know?
So, it is something. I mean, in a way that makes you think and feel motivated but yet really, really convicted all at the same time. I think it's really cool how the Holy Spirit can do that. There is a difference between guilt and conviction by the way. Only one is from God.
http://www.brookhills.org/media/series/the-radical-experiment-2010/
If you can find the sermon series, I also encourage you to listen to it.
If you have iTunes - you can go to the Podcast section of the iTunes Store and download the sermons for free - it's called the RADICAL EXPERIMENT.
In the meantime, while all the RADICAL stuff is spinning in my head - I still want to wrap up my thoughts on Captivating. My friend Heather is GREAT at blogging her thoughts, even when she is still spinning things around in her head. For me, not so much.....I feel like I have to wrap my brain around it first.
My thoughts are so random anyway......if I just typed it all out as it spins around in my head, no one would be able to follow it.
Of course, I say that as I have NO followers on my blog! :P But I'm not writing it for anyone else. It's an online journal of my journey - through the ups and downs and lessons I am learning. So.......maybe it doesn't matter if I have it all figured out in my head.
Regardless - listen to the RADICAL EXPERIMENT. It could change your life.
PS....I really wish I knew how to post a link on this crazy thing......I tried 5 times, and it's still not here.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
painful honesty
I have been married 20 years, and have been a Navy wife 20 years.
Among many things, this means that I have spent many birthdays, holidays and just days on end without my husband.
In fact, our first Christmas married, Mike was in boot camp.
Then after graduating from Auburn, he was in OCS in Pensalcola.
Of course, there was the 5 months in Haiti in the fall of 1996.
Our son's first Christmas, 1997, Mike was deployed to Cuba.
The next year, he was in Japan for 4 months.
When I was pregnant with Zion, he was in dive school - 4 states away.
In Feb. 2003, just after Isaac's 3rd birthday, Mike left for Iraq for 6 months. Zion was 18 months, Michael was 5.
Mike missed most of his kindergarten milestones. The joys of hearing your first son read his first words.
These were the "long" trips........I can't keep up with all the 2 weeks here, a month there, 3 weeks home and gone another 5 weeks. Those have been too many to count.
But with all honesty, the painful kind. God has used these single mom marathons to teach me a lot of things. Mostly, I am learning some lessons over and over. (I am thick headed like that). The big one - lean on ME - Abba - Daddy - not Mike.
Mike is a great husband, a great dad, a great man, but he is not God. I expect too much from him. I turn to him for some things, that I should turn to God for. In my own control-freak ways to fix this brokenness, we have gone though 10+ couples Bible Studies -parenting ones - Bringing Up Boys - and on and on.
Bible Studies are great! Don't misunderstand me! I LOVED Bringing up Boys (by Dr. James Dobson) and there are always great tips in books like "Love and Respect" and others. (Sheet Music - I highly recommend too -and it has NOTHING to do with singing)
But everytime I find myself back at the same ole place.
WHY??
Because I am still trying to control the situation with a FIX-IT attitude.
And God is still saying to me,
"Melda, I got it - TRUST ME!"
So, here I find myself in the same 'ole place.
Mike in Guam for possibly two years, and me and the boys, in San Diego.
I decided to join a women's only Life Group and work on MELDA for a change.
What a concept! (I told you I was hard-headed)
So.....the next few blogs coming out will be my random wanderings through the study,
Captivating, by John and Staci Eldridge
I am sure that a look inward, instead of outward will be the most rewarding.
God has big plans for me.
Among many things, this means that I have spent many birthdays, holidays and just days on end without my husband.
In fact, our first Christmas married, Mike was in boot camp.
Then after graduating from Auburn, he was in OCS in Pensalcola.
Of course, there was the 5 months in Haiti in the fall of 1996.
Our son's first Christmas, 1997, Mike was deployed to Cuba.
The next year, he was in Japan for 4 months.
When I was pregnant with Zion, he was in dive school - 4 states away.
In Feb. 2003, just after Isaac's 3rd birthday, Mike left for Iraq for 6 months. Zion was 18 months, Michael was 5.
Mike missed most of his kindergarten milestones. The joys of hearing your first son read his first words.
These were the "long" trips........I can't keep up with all the 2 weeks here, a month there, 3 weeks home and gone another 5 weeks. Those have been too many to count.
But with all honesty, the painful kind. God has used these single mom marathons to teach me a lot of things. Mostly, I am learning some lessons over and over. (I am thick headed like that). The big one - lean on ME - Abba - Daddy - not Mike.
Mike is a great husband, a great dad, a great man, but he is not God. I expect too much from him. I turn to him for some things, that I should turn to God for. In my own control-freak ways to fix this brokenness, we have gone though 10+ couples Bible Studies -parenting ones - Bringing Up Boys - and on and on.
Bible Studies are great! Don't misunderstand me! I LOVED Bringing up Boys (by Dr. James Dobson) and there are always great tips in books like "Love and Respect" and others. (Sheet Music - I highly recommend too -and it has NOTHING to do with singing)
But everytime I find myself back at the same ole place.
WHY??
Because I am still trying to control the situation with a FIX-IT attitude.
And God is still saying to me,
"Melda, I got it - TRUST ME!"
So, here I find myself in the same 'ole place.
Mike in Guam for possibly two years, and me and the boys, in San Diego.
I decided to join a women's only Life Group and work on MELDA for a change.
What a concept! (I told you I was hard-headed)
So.....the next few blogs coming out will be my random wanderings through the study,
Captivating, by John and Staci Eldridge
I am sure that a look inward, instead of outward will be the most rewarding.
God has big plans for me.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, really.......I wish I had a dollar for every time my boys screamed this phrase at each other, (or even at me for that matter.)
Justice is a big deal to kids, well, to all of us really. We have within us a sense of fairness, maybe not in relation to everyone else, but certainly for OURSELVES!
And no matter how many times I get frustrated and say, "well, Life's not fair!" I still go back and try to make it all fair.
I try to make Christmas "fair" (spending the same amount of money on each kid)
I try to make mealtime "fair" (dividing the strawberries so everyone gets 5 each)
and even trying to make punishment "fair"
This may be the hardest one of all.
Example: I am making dinner. The boys are supposed to be getting showers/ jammies and cleaning their rooms. Upstairs we have 3 bedrooms (everyone has their own) but only one bathroom, so I hear.......
screaming like this..........
"Gross!! flush your poop!!"
"It stinks in here!"
"YOU STINK!"
"I can't take a shower in here!"
"Don't touch me!"
"Mom said you have to take a shower, so SMELL IT!"
"FLUSH THE TOILET!" (flush)
"MOM!!!!! MICHAEL FLUSHED THE TOILET WHILE I WAS STILL SITTING ON IT"
BAM
BOOM
CRASH
"STUPID"
"DUMMY"
BAM
BOOM
CRASH
"STOP IT"
"YOU STOP IT"
"YOU STARTED IT"
"MOM!!!!!!!!!!"
"TATTLE-TAIL!"
So I go upstairs and everyone starts talking at once. Someone will start crying usually, and ALWAYS I hear what the other person did that was wrong. The injustice dealt, and the punishment they should recieve.
Never once, in my life, have I heard a child (mine or anyone's) walk up to the mom and say, "I just did my best at trying to kill my brother.......I should be grounded for the rest of my life."
I send everyone to their room. Get the story from everyone, separately.... and then try to decide what the punishment is for trying to kill your brother (physically or with a stink bomb).
The punishment is never strong enough for the brother and always too strong for them.
And once again, "IT'S NOT FAIR"
I decided last year that the punishment should be the same, no matter what the offense.
So I said, "you were both fighting, you are both grounded"
"BUT HE STARTED IT"
"YOU have the choice and the power to do what is right, no matter if everyone else is doing something wrong. It doesn't matter who started it, hitting someone is a sin and you are both grounded".
"that's not fair! you are the WORST MOTHER EVER!"
In my anger, I will not sin. Ephesians 4:26
I quote this often in the heat of battle. Sometimes for the kids benefit and sometimes for my own. (they have no idea how far I have come with self control)
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
For the wages of sin is death Romans 6:23
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!
Justice is a big deal to kids, well, to all of us really. We have within us a sense of fairness, maybe not in relation to everyone else, but certainly for OURSELVES!
And no matter how many times I get frustrated and say, "well, Life's not fair!" I still go back and try to make it all fair.
I try to make Christmas "fair" (spending the same amount of money on each kid)
I try to make mealtime "fair" (dividing the strawberries so everyone gets 5 each)
and even trying to make punishment "fair"
This may be the hardest one of all.
Example: I am making dinner. The boys are supposed to be getting showers/ jammies and cleaning their rooms. Upstairs we have 3 bedrooms (everyone has their own) but only one bathroom, so I hear.......
screaming like this..........
"Gross!! flush your poop!!"
"It stinks in here!"
"YOU STINK!"
"I can't take a shower in here!"
"Don't touch me!"
"Mom said you have to take a shower, so SMELL IT!"
"FLUSH THE TOILET!" (flush)
"MOM!!!!! MICHAEL FLUSHED THE TOILET WHILE I WAS STILL SITTING ON IT"
BAM
BOOM
CRASH
"STUPID"
"DUMMY"
BAM
BOOM
CRASH
"STOP IT"
"YOU STOP IT"
"YOU STARTED IT"
"MOM!!!!!!!!!!"
"TATTLE-TAIL!"
So I go upstairs and everyone starts talking at once. Someone will start crying usually, and ALWAYS I hear what the other person did that was wrong. The injustice dealt, and the punishment they should recieve.
Never once, in my life, have I heard a child (mine or anyone's) walk up to the mom and say, "I just did my best at trying to kill my brother.......I should be grounded for the rest of my life."
I send everyone to their room. Get the story from everyone, separately.... and then try to decide what the punishment is for trying to kill your brother (physically or with a stink bomb).
The punishment is never strong enough for the brother and always too strong for them.
And once again, "IT'S NOT FAIR"
I decided last year that the punishment should be the same, no matter what the offense.
So I said, "you were both fighting, you are both grounded"
"BUT HE STARTED IT"
"YOU have the choice and the power to do what is right, no matter if everyone else is doing something wrong. It doesn't matter who started it, hitting someone is a sin and you are both grounded".
"that's not fair! you are the WORST MOTHER EVER!"
In my anger, I will not sin. Ephesians 4:26
I quote this often in the heat of battle. Sometimes for the kids benefit and sometimes for my own. (they have no idea how far I have come with self control)
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23
For the wages of sin is death Romans 6:23
BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!
........Romans 3:24 but we are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
.............Romans 6:23b but the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Thank you God for your grace and mercy. Thank you God for your son Jesus.
Thank you God, that my life is not fair.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I DID NOT vote for Obama.
but I will pray for him.
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
I Timothy 2:1-2
When the Godly are in authority, the people rejoice, but when the wicked are in power, they groan. - Proverbs 29:2
You can join a team of people called the Presidental Prayer Team.
www.presidentalprayerteam.org
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone- for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.
I Timothy 2:1-2
When the Godly are in authority, the people rejoice, but when the wicked are in power, they groan. - Proverbs 29:2
You can join a team of people called the Presidental Prayer Team.
www.presidentalprayerteam.org
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