IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, really.......I wish I had a dollar for every time my boys screamed this phrase at each other, (or even at me for that matter.)

Justice is a big deal to kids, well, to all of us really. We have within us a sense of fairness, maybe not in relation to everyone else, but certainly for OURSELVES!

And no matter how many times I get frustrated and say, "well, Life's not fair!" I still go back and try to make it all fair.

I try to make Christmas "fair" (spending the same amount of money on each kid)

I try to make mealtime "fair" (dividing the strawberries so everyone gets 5 each)

and even trying to make punishment "fair"

This may be the hardest one of all.

Example: I am making dinner. The boys are supposed to be getting showers/ jammies and cleaning their rooms. Upstairs we have 3 bedrooms (everyone has their own) but only one bathroom, so I hear.......

screaming like this..........

"Gross!! flush your poop!!"

"It stinks in here!"

"YOU STINK!"

"I can't take a shower in here!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Mom said you have to take a shower, so SMELL IT!"

"FLUSH THE TOILET!" (flush)

"MOM!!!!! MICHAEL FLUSHED THE TOILET WHILE I WAS STILL SITTING ON IT"

BAM

BOOM

CRASH

"STUPID"

"DUMMY"

BAM

BOOM

CRASH

"STOP IT"

"YOU STOP IT"

"YOU STARTED IT"

"MOM!!!!!!!!!!"

"TATTLE-TAIL!"

So I go upstairs and everyone starts talking at once. Someone will start crying usually, and ALWAYS I hear what the other person did that was wrong. The injustice dealt, and the punishment they should recieve.

Never once, in my life, have I heard a child (mine or anyone's) walk up to the mom and say, "I just did my best at trying to kill my brother.......I should be grounded for the rest of my life."

I send everyone to their room. Get the story from everyone, separately.... and then try to decide what the punishment is for trying to kill your brother (physically or with a stink bomb).

The punishment is never strong enough for the brother and always too strong for them.
And once again, "IT'S NOT FAIR"

I decided last year that the punishment should be the same, no matter what the offense.

So I said, "you were both fighting, you are both grounded"

"BUT HE STARTED IT"

"YOU have the choice and the power to do what is right, no matter if everyone else is doing something wrong. It doesn't matter who started it, hitting someone is a sin and you are both grounded".

"that's not fair! you are the WORST MOTHER EVER!"

In my anger, I will not sin. Ephesians 4:26

I quote this often in the heat of battle. Sometimes for the kids benefit and sometimes for my own. (they have no idea how far I have come with self control)

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

For the wages of sin is death Romans 6:23

BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!

........Romans 3:24 but we are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

.............Romans 6:23b but the GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thank you God for your grace and mercy. Thank you God for your son Jesus.

Thank you God, that my life is not fair.